I grew up in the church, and I have always been big in my faith.  Not to say that it hasn’t wavered from time to time or that it has been easy.  I experienced trauma as a teenager that I pushed down into my body, because I didn’t know what to do with it or how to handle it.  So, I just moved on with my life.

I then spent 15 years in EMS as a paramedic, peer supporter, and crisis responder.  During the last five years, it was my job to assist those who were in a mental health crisis, and I experienced individuals who were suicidal, overdosed, homicidal, violent…the list goes on.  What I didn’t realize is that I was stacking trauma after trauma into my body, mind, soul, and spirit.  It began to take a major toll on my physical and mental health, and I was also struggling with relationships and life as a whole. 

I felt like I had read every self-help book out there, I was seeing a counselor/therapist, I was active in my church, I was praying…I was doing everything I knew to do.  But nothing seemed to be working.  I felt like I was hitting a wall that I tried to punch through over-and-over again.  I had heard of yoga and had taken a few classes here and there, but I hadn’t truly practiced or payed much attention to it.  Through my studies in trauma care, I repeatedly heard about the amazing benefits of yoga.  So, I decided to dedicate 31 days to practicing yoga, and it changed my life.  I felt my body for the first time in over 15 years. Yoga connected my mind back to my body, and I knew I needed to give it to other people.  It was so healing for me, and I wanted to give this tool to help others heal too.  I wondered if anyone else would want to practice yoga while using Christian worship music like I did.  (Music has always been a major part of my life.)  I couldn’t get my mind off of a Christian style of yoga.  Did that or could that even exist?  I didn’t know.  I looked in to multiple (secular) yoga programs, reached out, and I never received a response from them.  I decided to attend a trauma-sensitive yoga training for social workers, crisis responders, etc. in another state to dip my toes in the water.  There were many required books, so I off I went to Half-Price Books to find them.  None of the books on the list were there, but a book called “Holy Yoga” literally fell off the shelf while I was trying to pull others.  I picked it up, assumed it wasn’t legit, but I bought it anyway to see.  I took the book home and pretty much read the entire thing in one sitting.  I then looked up “Holy Yoga” online to find that it was a legitimate business that trained people to become instructors in Christ-Centered yoga!

I reached out for an interview, prayed, and then God did the rest.  He lined everything up for me to be able to get my initial, trauma-sensitive, and master yoga certifications (over the last couple years).  I went to school while continuing to work as a medic, and I gave yoga to anyone who wanted it.  I started teaching in a studio, and I continuously fell more in love with yoga.  A year ago, I took a major leap of faith and left EMS to pursue helping others heal through yoga.  I knew it was the right path for me, and God was clearly guiding me to it.  But first, He had to remind me that we can connect to Him through breath and movement.  That was the piece I had been missing the whole time.  He created us with His breath!  He created us with unimaginable movement!  Just take that in for a minute!

That’s where the connection lies…in the in-between…in the waiting.  The connection is in those moments of taking a deep breath when you don’t know what else to do.  In that moment of vulnerability in a yoga class you never thought you’d be in.  In that moment of waiting while holding your body in an uncomfortable position as you try to heal.  He’s in the waiting.  He was there the whole time…waiting to reconnect you back to your mind, body, soul, and spirit.